The Boy Who Felt Responsible for His Mother's Death

At 14, Tom Snow was just a curious kid experimenting with asbestos dust, trying to create an invention to protect people from it. But when his mother died of cancer the year after his experiments, the weight of guilt crushed him. "I felt like I had just killed the only source of love in my family," Tom recalls. "In the 1960s, the father and two brothers don't show love. My mother was the only source."

When Tom discovered a walnut-sized tumor in his own abdomen a month after his mother's death, he kept it secret. "I wouldn't tell anybody because I felt like I deserved to die." By the time it was discovered, the tumor had grown to the size of a football, and Tom was given a terminal diagnosis.

But this wasn't just a story about cancer—it was the beginning of a 55-year journey with "Papa God" that would take Tom through miraculous healing, devastating church abuse, a marriage from hell, and ultimately to a parking lot confrontation with the Almighty that would strip away every religious pretense he'd ever carried.

The Miracle That Started Everything

At 15, riding his motorcycle home from yet another charismatic meeting (they had meetings six days a week, twice on Sunday), Tom was having a casual conversation with God when something extraordinary happened:

"Hey, do you see in Isaiah where I said by his stripes you are healed?" God asked.

"Yeah," Tom replied.

"Do you see in First Peter where I said by his wounds you were healed? Look at the verbiage—'are' and 'were.' Are is current to the future. Were is past. Isaiah was looking to the cross. Peter's looking back to the cross. I finished everything at the cross.

Would you like that healing?"

Tom's response was surprisingly nonchalant: "Yeah, whatever. Sure."

Within 24 hours, the rock-hard tumor the size of a football had completely melted away. Tom was healed—not through a dramatic altar call or hours of prayer, but through a simple conversation with the God he'd learned to call Papa.

When Following God Leads to Hell on Earth

You'd think that would be the happy ending, but Tom's story was just beginning. Despite experiencing the miraculous power of God regularly—healings, prophecies, all the gifts described in 1 Corinthians—his personal life became a nightmare.

His first marriage was 26 years of what he calls "PMS 24/7, 365." His wife would throw things at him, dump ice water over his head when he tried to avoid fights, and create constant turmoil. "I wanted to start abused husbands anonymous," Tom says, highlighting an often-ignored reality that abuse isn't gender-specific.

Meanwhile, he was working 80-100 hour weeks, watching his father die, dealing with his children's serious health issues, and experiencing betrayal and abuse within the church leadership he served. Despite seeing God's power regularly, Tom had no peace in his actual life.

The Church That Shoots Its Wounded

Tom's spiritual father used to say, "The Christian army is the only army that shoots their wounded," and Tom experienced this firsthand. In his second book, he describes how many churches operate like Stockholm syndrome environments:

"We've created power structures where leaders are at the top—apostle, prophet, evangelist, pastor, teacher—then elders, then deacons, then us little peons at the bottom. If we want to serve God, we have to act good here so we can move our way up."

When Tom began questioning these power structures, teaching that God's kingdom operates as an upside-down pyramid with servant leaders at the bottom and the saints at the top, he was labeled a heretic and forced out of two different churches.

"If you ever challenge these kind of misguided leaders who love power, they'll use their Stockholm inductees—people who've been trained to reinforce what the structures told them—to come after you. They'll say, 'Something must be wrong with you. If you were right with God, you wouldn't be going through all this trouble.'"

The Parking Lot Breakdown That Changed Everything

After years of this hell, Tom reached his breaking point. Walking out of work at 2 AM, exhausted from another 17-hour day, he tried to have his usual conversation with God. But something snapped.

"I began to cuss God out—God who loved me, healed me, saved me, showed me the greatest love ever. I ranted for 10-15 minutes solid, saying things I hadn't said in years, things I didn't know I even knew. I just couldn't stop. I knew when I was done, he was going to strike me dead with lightning."

When Tom finally finished his tirade, God's response wasn't lightning. It was a simple question: "Are you done yet?"

This infuriated Tom even more, triggering another 10-15 minutes of ranting until he was completely spent. Then God surrounded him with overwhelming love.

"Why don't you kill me?" Tom cried. "I just treated you worse than I've ever treated anyone in my life!"

"Because I love you," God replied.

"But I just told you all these horrible things!"

"I already knew what was in your heart. I just wanted you to find out."

The Freedom of Being Known Completely

That parking lot encounter stripped away all of Tom's religious pretenses. "I lost all religiosity, all fake spirituality. I no longer cared about position and leadership and notoriety. I didn't care because I now knew I was back to the true and living God and didn't have to put on fake stuff."

Tom discovered something revolutionary: God already knows our "uglies"—our anger, our hurt, our failures—and loves us anyway. We don't have to hide our brokenness or pretend to be perfect.

"I could tell everybody my uglies and I don't care. You don't like it, that's okay. It doesn't bother me. He already knew."

This freedom allowed Tom to develop an authentic relationship with God that didn't depend on religious performance or perfect behavior. Prayer became as natural as breathing—happening while driving, cooking, or watching TV—because it was based on relationship, not ritual.

The Hair-Numbering God

One of Tom's favorite stories illustrates just how intimately God knows us. While combing his long hair (this was the '70s), throwing the loose strands in the trash, God asked him three times what he was doing.

Getting frustrated, Tom sarcastically replied, "I'm combing my hair, pulling out the hairs, and throwing them in the trash. Why? What do you think I'm doing?"

God's response stopped him cold: "Did you know that you just threw away hair number 9,558, hair number 20,251, hair number 960, and hair number 812?"

The God of the universe, who holds everything together by the word of His mouth, really does have every hair on our heads numbered. He knows us that intimately.

Breaking Free from Church Stockholm Syndrome

Tom's experience led him to write two books. The first, "The Daily Stand," focuses on authentic spiritual warfare and learning to walk with Papa God. The second, "Set the Captives Free," addresses the church abuse he witnessed and experienced.

His message for families dealing with addiction, abuse, or chaos is radical: God isn't surprised by your mess. He already knows your uglies and loves you anyway. You don't have to perform for Him or hide your struggles.

"This is not a surprise to God. We may be totally taken off guard, but it's never a surprise to Him."

The Upside-Down Kingdom

Tom learned that God's kingdom operates opposite to worldly power structures. Instead of leaders lording over others, Jesus said, "I didn't come to be served. I came to serve. The least among you must be the greatest, and the greatest among you must be the least."

For families struggling with addiction or abuse, this means you don't have to earn God's love through perfect behavior or church performance. The "saints"—ordinary believers dealing with real-life mess—are at the top of God's pyramid, not at the bottom.

Living in Authentic Relationship

Today, Tom describes his prayer life not as religious duty but as ongoing conversation: "I drive down the road, I walk around, I cook a meal for my daughter—it's a relationship with the true and loving God."

He's learned that sanctification is a lifelong process: "I will have my uglies and my bad as long as I'm on this earth. I don't say 'I'll never do it again' anymore because that's just baloney. When I screw up, I say, 'Hey, Pop, I screwed up again.' He goes, 'Yeah, I know.' I say, 'I'm sorry.' He goes, 'Cool.'"

Hope for Families in Crisis

Tom's message for families dealing with addiction, church hurt, or personal crisis is profound: God's love isn't dependent on your circumstances being perfect or your behavior being flawless. He's not waiting for you to get your act together before He'll love you.

"The love of the Father, Papa God, is worth so much—better than the love of the best mate. To get the chance to walk with Him every day—my prayers aren't 'Oh, I have to pray again.' It's a relationship."

Whether you're dealing with a family member's addiction, recovering from church abuse, or just trying to figure out how to have an authentic relationship with God in the middle of chaos, Tom's story offers hope: God already knows your whole story, and He's not going anywhere.

The Daily Stand – A spiritual warfare guide rooted in daily relationship with God

Set the Captives Free – An honest look at church abuse, religious trauma, and reclaiming freedom in Christ

➤ Find both at: https://just2beclear.com/